


Letters from Peggy

by TheonSugden



Category: EastEnders
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 06:54:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6894559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonSugden/pseuds/TheonSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the show chose not to give Peggy any real interaction with Jay, Louise or Ben in her final episodes, I imagine these letters are what she would leave for them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters from Peggy

_Dear Jay,_

_I remember when you were a cheeky tearaway, giving your granddad a heart attack every time he turned around. When Billy took you in after you lost your father, I wasn’t sure if I’d need to keep locks on everything or hide all the breakables. You almost gave me a few heart attacks of my own._

_I haven’t seen you as much in the last few years, but you’ve become the man I never gave you credit for being. I know your granddad and your dad would be proud of you._

_I don’t want to think about where Ben might be if not for you. I was never really there for him - not the way I should have been. It’s not fair that this was what you had to do, but you did._

_I don’t know everything about what happened with that girl, but I know you well enough to know you’re a good person. A good man. A credit. Tests are supposed to make you stronger, but they don’t. They make you weak. They hurt you. They’re not fair. None of this is fair. Life isn’t fair. But if anyone knows that, it’s you._

_I know Phil threw you out, and I probably would have done the same thing when I was his age. Or when I was older. I had this idea of ‘family’ and I never had much time for anyone who ever fell short of what that was supposed to be._

_Now I’m at the end, and I know the truth - you have people you love and nothing else matters. Some of the most vicious monsters I’ve ever met in my life had Mitchell blood. And some of the kindest people I’ve ever met, I would have spat on, because they weren’t ‘Mitchells.’_

_I know better now._

_You’re not a Mitchell, you’re a Brown. And that’s right. That’s how it should be._

_I’m very glad to have known you, Jay Brown._

_Love,_ _Peggy_

_***_

_Dear Louise,_

_When I was your age, my gran always told me how much I was like her when she was my age. And I’d think, ‘What a dozy mare.’  I’m sure you’re thinking the same thing right now._

_I made a lot of mistakes. I know you will too. Everyone does, darling. I just want you to take care of yourself._

_Sometimes I think about my Sam, and how I didn’t look after her properly. The only time I fought for her was when she wanted to marry Ricky Butcher, and he turned out to be the only decent man she was ever with. She got lost somewhere along the way. And maybe I did too. You don’t have to though, do you?_

_I never liked your mother very much, but I gave you back to her because I knew she loved you. I knew how hard she fought for you. I hope you won’t forget her. I love my Phil, and he tries his best, but he can’t be everything you need._

_The world never feels like a safe place for girls. It never did for me. Yet, I remember how exciting it was when I was your age, how much I looked forward to every morning I got out of bed. I got caught up in a whirlwind, and I don’t regret half as much as I should._

_I hope you enjoy life, and I hope you’re stronger than I let myself be._

_Love,_ _Peggy_

_***_

_Dear Ben,_

_I’m very proud of you._

_I just needed to say that, because I couldn’t tell you to your face. I didn’t know what Phil would say. I didn’t know how you would react. I didn’t want to say I always knew you were gay, because that didn’t matter, did it? I never fought for you. I never protected that happy little boy from everything that we did to you._

_I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you after what happened with Heather. I was scared. Even now, sitting here writing my last letter, I don’t know what I could have done. Maybe I was better off not getting involved. I’ll never know. That’s my burden, not yours. You have your whole life ahead of you, and I’m sure it will be a good life, darling._

_I’m so glad you’re my grandson, but I want you to remember that’s not all you are. Being a Mitchell isn’t just a blessing - it’s a burden. We lock ourselves in. You don’t just need us. You don’t just need your dad. I know you’ll look after him, no matter how much it hurts, because that’s what we do, but don’t let it chase away the other people who love you._

_I don’t understand why Kathy did what she did, but she always loved you. She still does. I know she’ll be there for you. She’s probably as confused as you are - as I was. She’s a good woman._

_I’m sorry I never got to meet Paul. His grandparents are wonderful people and from what I’ve heard, he’s just the same. We tend to chase good people off - it’s what ‘Mitchells’ do. We can’t stop ourselves. You don’t have to. You aren’t just a Mitchell. Always remember that._

_And always remember how proud I am of you._

_Love,_ _Peggy_


End file.
